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There in the Palace Tigy stayed as a special guest and advisor to the king. For weeks together they discussed the issue of gender inequality and came to a conclusion that men were still not MEN in the village. They also deducted that men will become MEN iff women were forced to become WOMEN. There was only one way to do that and that was rape. Systematic…planned rape.
On the next auspicious day, Tigy Kunju Mathai was crowned the “God Of Rape”.
And from that day he came to be known as Tigy- the ultimate king of Rape.
But disappointment struck when Tigy found that women were meek and stood helpless only before him and not before the other men. Men would either pee or would never get an erection when they looked in the eyes of women who dominated them for so long. So he took classes for them on how to rape effectively and efficiently. He sent out special spies and agents to make a list of women who had earlier raped men. Tigy forcibly brought them before him. If they refused to obey his rules and be WOMEN, Tigy would rape them then and there.
But Tigy was gentle…even though his intentions were cruel, his touch was magic. Some women pretended deliberate belligerence so that they could experience Tigy. Summing up…Tigy was amazing at love making.
Slowly within a year, seeing even the strongest of their kind fall and perish, woman started really becoming WOMEN as per the norms set by men of the kind of Tigy. Women of Vallayoor never came out when Tigy walked the village roads. All the women covered themselves in gunny bags with just two holes that enabled sight. This was to hide their feminine appeal to escape from Tigy.
But Tigy had eyes that beat the best of X-Ray machines. He could calculate the geography and chemistry of a woman’s body from a good 400 meters.
When teenage daughters would not listen to their parents, they would tell the girl:
“Do as we say or we will call Tigy Kunju Mathai…” and the girl would loo in her skirt out of fear.
Tigy Kunju Mathai became a sensation and terror all at the same time in the village.
But men were still oppressed. There was hardly any change in their attitudes. They were still scared of woman. So in order to improve the situation, Tigy requested the king Ramanan Kartha to build a castle for him in the dark, evil forests of Koravan Mala. There he built elaborate torture chambers for raping women who defied Tigy’s commands and showed aggressive, arrogant attitude towards men.
Slowly, but steadily the oppressed men became mere suppressed. But Tigy knew for sure that it will take a lot of effort before the suppressed men became dominant. That was the law of nature. Then, one day Tigy got an idea. He mounted his bullock cart and raced towards the King’s palace and the king was with his counsel. As soon as the meeting was adjourned, King Ramanan Kartha called Tigy Kunju Mathai to his chambers and asked him to sit. The King with his own hands served wine and fruits to the Great God of Rape.
“Tell me oh Powerful Tigy Kunju Mathai what brings you here? How is the business of rape going on in my province…”
” All is well your highness…but I have one suggestion…” Tigy looked at the king who looked a zillion times better than the first time he had met him. He looked plump, healthy and manly with two crescent moons for moustache.
“What is it? Your wishes are my commands Oh Mighty Raper…” the king had concern brimming in his voice.
“I need to leave…” Tigy finally confessed.
“What…” The wine glass slipped and fell from the King’s hand. He could not believe what he was hearing.
“Yes oh mighty king Ramanan… I need to leave…” Tigy repeated.
“My province will be ruined by arrogant women if you leave…” King Ramanan bent his head in disappointment and fear seemed to infected his eyes and voice.
“Same land and same women have no appeal for me…oh mighty King… I’m a nomad… But I’m going on a journey that will solve all your problems completely…”
“How?” The king asked
“Have you heard about Abu Fakkir of Mysore?”
“No…” The king shook his head.
“Well Abu Fakkir has a secret tonic that brings back manliness to men who have lost it…. also we need to change the name of this province to something more manly… My journey would bring back MANHOOD to the men and the village alike….”
“This is such a noble mission … Oh mighty God Of Rape….” the king got up and fell onto the feet of Tigy Kunju Mathai. Tigy felt a little embarrassed watching such a great king stoop so low, but he had to endure this journey for the betterment and freedom of every man Vallayoor.
“It will be a big loss for the village..oh mighty God of Rape…” King Ramanan spoke in a very sad voice.
“I will be back…oh mighty King of Vallayoor and the seven mountains… I will be back with a manly name for the village and manliness bottled for the men of this village….bless me with good sped, fair winds and sunny days…”
And hence finally Tigy Kunju Mathai, with his bullock cart laden with food and supplies that would last months, began his journey into the unknown. With tears rolling down their eyes, the men bid farewell to their God of Rape and wished him a safe journey.
Also they prayed to their Bull Gods to give Tigy enough strength to rape every woman who crossed his path.
That night men wept and woman celebrated.
Months passed in monotonous routines. Both men and women tried to maintain an amiable existence. But deep within burned the inextinguishable fires of revenge.
Then one fine morning, 6 months after Tigy Kunju Mathai’s departure a new character arrived in the village from nowhere. Monsoon was relentless and it was pouring down when Berlin Monroe set foot over the dirty puddles of Vallayoor.
She was extremely beautiful and people mistook her for the goddess of beauty, who by mistake had landed into their village. Her curly white hair, red-hot lips and flawless white skin that glowed like full moon made every eye fall out of its socket and follow her wherever she went.
King Ramanan himself came down with his ministers to greet her. Latter on it was understood that Berlin Monroe was an actress and screen writer from Britain. She had heard about this completely isolated village called Vallayoor and wanted to make a movie on it. The King became happy since the name of his village would cross the seven seas and became famous. He instructed his ministers to make all the necessary arrangements for Berlin Monroe’s stay. Till she left Vallayoor, she would be the King’s special guest. A village girl name Kunji Paru and an executive chef called “Kanji Kadayile Executive” was assigned to prepare food and take care of Miss Monroe’s needs. Monroe soon fell in love with Kanji, Kappa and Kavitha of that innocent village.
Young Kunji Paru was the official village news channel and the secret that Berlin Monroe was betrothed to an Officer in British East India Company spread like a wild fire in that pouring monsoon. What was even more shocking to many was that Miss. Monroe had casually confessed to Kunji Paru that she was virgin.
The news passed between lips and ears in hushed whispers across paddy fields, temple grounds, toddy shops, canals and kitchens. The men of Vallayoor became simulated and pumped up all of a sudden. Testosterone levels slowly started to rise in men as they gaped at the tender flesh of Miss Monroe’s hips. She always walked around the village wearing short sexy costumes with Kunji Paru in order to understand the culture and people of Vallayoor.
Her sex appeal was too much to bear for many men and they fantasized their way to higher levels of manliness each night thinking about Berlin Monroe.
In two months, without using a single drop of Abu Fakkir’s magic potion, men of Vallayoor became MEN as men should be.
But like always, a woman’s real enemy was always another woman.
Jealousy crept through the veins of every woman of Vallayoor and they longed for more attention from their male partner. Women of Vallayoor became meek and obeyed the wishes of their husbands and male partners without uttering a word. And in another 6 months women of the village really became WOMEN as per the laid down norms.
As the paradigm of power shifted from the women to men…men started dominating the day to day affairs of the village. They would drink endlessly and beat their wives. It was the women who started taking care of household works when men went out for work. Every man secretly wished to bed and deflower the beautiful Berlin Monroe.
From Chindappan (the landlord) to Alvin Kuttapai (the toddy shop owner) tried their luck. What more…even the Executive Chef tried his hand a few times, but Berlin Monroe always kept them at arm’s length. The only person who got really close enough was King Ramanan. After his wife’s death, he never felt attracted to any women. But after a late night party (to which the young Miss Monroe was invited as a guest), the King lost his control under the intoxicating influence of alcohol and Miss Monroe’s heavenly beauty. And he moved his hands along navel and pinched her waist.
That was the only thing he remembered and after sometime when he woke up, he had two of his tooth missing. That day King Ramanan Kartha realized that Miss Berlin Monroe held a black belt in Karate and several medals in Kung-Fu.
It was not that Miss Monroe did not like men of Vallayoor. Even she had dreamed of meeting an able-bodied man and loosing her maidenhood to that man. She could find no other place on earth for the maiden experience than the beautiful village of Vallayoor. But the problem was that after listening to the stories of the Legendary Tigy Kunju Mathai, she desired no other man. Even though she had never met him or seen him, his brave sexual exploits and charisma made her wet every night before she went to sleep. She vowed herself that, if a man should deflower her, it would be the God of Rape, Tigy Kunju Mathai. Every day she would walk towards the entrance off the village to catch the glimpse of her hero riding merrily over his bullock cart… but luck was not in her favour those days.
Berlin waited for Tigy Kunju Mathai who brought revolution into the village with his cock, with anxious eyes.
But nothing happened for another 6 months during which she had completed the script for her new movie and had almost lost all hopes of meeting Tigy.
But then one fine day, the bells around the necks of Tigy Kunju Mathai’s bulls rattled the peaceful air of the village. The GOD OF RAPE was back. Even though women became more scared, men were not amused like before.
Even the king did not get up from his seat to greet him. Tigy could not fathom what changes had crept in during his absence and he kept wondering about the lukewarm response he received.
Soon he got to the root cause. Tigy boiled with rage as soon as he came to know that Miss Berlin Monroe, with her feminine charm had accomplished what he could not with years of violence and rape. Except for a few ardent followers among the villagers, no one paid any heed to Tigy any more. He was deeply hurt and spent his time in solitude brewing hatred and vengeance against Berlin Monroe.
Meanwhile Berlin Monroe was in cloud 9 knowing that finally her MAN had arrived in the village and she could not suppress her anxiety to meet him.
She spent endless hours on selecting the make up and costumes to meet Tigy. And finally when she was ready, she looked as if she was the most beautiful goddess who ever walked the surface of earth. But to her disappointment, when she reached Tigy’s castle in Koravan Mala, he refused to meet her. Tigy Kunju Mathai’s servants sent her back. Miss Monroe was initially shocked since no man had ever refused her. For the first time in her life someone had shown balls enough to send her back. This in turn fed her curiosity and her lust for Tigy multiplied in leaps and bounds.
From that day wherever Tigy went she followed him with Kunji Paru.
By the river side when he was taking bath, in front of toddy shop, by the banyan tree in front of the Kanji Kada (rice soup shop), by the temple ground where he sat watching sunset, behind the village club where he played cards and wrestling ground where he settled his scores….wherever Tigy went, Berlin Monroe would follow. But to her sorrow, Tigy spat repulsively every time his eyes fell on her. As if she was the worst thing he ever loathed in his life. Berlin Monroe’s fragile feminine heart was hurt due to this rude behaviour of Tigy Kunju Mathai…her hero…her god and her fantasy dream idol.
The biggest blow came on the day when she saw Tigy making love to Kunji Paru in the old shed behind her house. Berlin Monroe was out for a walk and when she came back to her old mud house, it was a bit too dark. As she went around looking for Kunji Paru, she heard a shadow of faint moaning coming from the shed. She crouched silently to see what was happening and through the window she saw Tigy making love to her housemaid. Tears rolled down her beautiful red cheeks and she cried endlessly that night soaking her pillows.
But by morning she made a dangerous resolution!!!
Berlin Monroe would either win Tigy in a fortnight or she would end her life.
She extensively studied Tigy’s behaviour by following him secretly and understood that next to beautiful women, alcohol was his biggest weakness. Berlin Monroe disclosed the secret that she had a big bottle of scotch whiskey to Kunju Paru and Kanji Kadayile Executive.
And as intended, her plan worked. The news reached Tigy somehow.
Next day morning when Tigy was taking bath in the river, Berlin Monroe went and sat by the banks. She wore a sexy two piece bikini in an attempt to seduce him.
As Tigy came out of the waters, she walked towards him and spoke to him:
“Would you like to come home in the evening for a drink…” she looked seductively at him.
But Tigy rudely spat and replied:
“No…never….You firangy (foreign) bitch…I hate your clan….”
“It will be my pleasure to serve whiskey to the God Of Rape… ”
“Your whiskey means piss to me…now get lost…” Tigy pushed her aside roughly and started walking away and that’s when Berlin Monroe shouted at him:
“You are scared Tigy…you are scared… if you are man enough…come tonight…I will be waiting…hahahaha” The nasty blend of her sarcasm, laughter and challenge made Tigy’s blood boil. He neither turn back, nor did he utter a single word in reply. Nonetheless, he was not a man who would run away from challenge.
So by 9 in the evening he was sitting in the drawing-room of Berlin Monroe’s house. Tigy had to prove he was man enough and he would never get peace of mind turning down a challenge thrown at him by a woman.
Berlin looked sexy, clad in a glittering red gown and a lipstick that matched it. The dress gave ample room for her to expose her bare shoulders and most of her heaving breasts. But Tigy was there for a drink and nothing more. His hate for Berlin Monroe still burned fervently in his eyes.
But Miss Monroe simply smiled at him and poured whiskey into his glass. They sipped the beverage in silence. Tigy kept looking away so as to avoid looking at Monroe. But he ate the egg and chicken fry specially prepared for him to his heart’s fill. After 15 minutes and two pegs… Tigy started feeling giddy.
“I can drink 20 pegs and walk straight like a horse…but this is only two pegs…what the hell is happening to me…” he thought as his vision blurred and things started becoming obscure.
“Is this your stamina…Oh God of Rape???” he heard Miss Monroe mocking him…
“Noooo…no you fucking bitch…. pour me more and you will know the Real Tigy Kunju Mathai…” he yelled at her.
She served one more peg and after he drowned that, Tigy still sitting in his chair,fell down like a dead tree.
Tigy lost the track of time. He swam between reality and dreams. He felt a cold body pressing against him. Like a snake it moved writhing over him. He felt his manhood engulfed in a wet tide that moved up and down…up and down…up and down. Then he felt the cold tongue of a snake kissing the tip of his hardness. Tigy tried to shove the snake away from him…but it was persistent in giving him pleasures. The mutual suffering and pleasure of a snake swallowing another snake.
Tigy felt exhausted and his cautious mind lost all control as he got swept away into an ocean of erotic delights when she mounted him. Then as he shuddered in the extreme pleasure-waves that rose and fell…rose and fell….rose and fell… slow in the beginning…but faster as it went…he moaned and cried in carnal ecstasy…so did Berlin Monroe.
When the biggest wave rose and fell for one last time…Tigy groaned like a wounded bear. And then he lay still…
It was almost midnight when Tigy woke up. He was completely naked. He rubbed his eyes and as it adjusted to the darkness, he saw Berlin Monroe sitting in the chair and staring at him. Her eyes had the sparkled like that of a victorious lioness. Tigy understood he was doped…Miss Berlin Monroe had set a trap into which he fell like a helpless deer. She had mixed something in the whiskey…Tigy knew not what. Tigy’s head hung in shame of defeat. Suddenly he felt ashamed and he gathered his cloths, exactly like the Queen he had raped years back and ran out of Berlin Monroe’s drawing hall. Berlin Monroe held his hands as if to stop him and tell him she loved him. But Tigy was so ashamed of himself that he wriggled out of her grip and dashed away into the darkness.
The man who raped was finally raped.
Tigy realised he was not a God of Rape any more and that he had no right to stay in that village. Like a man marshalled in to exile, Tigy planned an escape from this shame.That very night he gathered his belongings and with some of his trusted friends, crossed Kuravan Mala and Krishnagiri.
Nobody ever saw Tigy Kunju Mathai, their beloved god of rape, ever in Vallayoor again. Stories turned to myths and myths turned to mythologies…and a temple was raised in Vallayoor commemorating the man who strived to raise the cock of men.
But far away, after months of perilous journey Tigy and team reached Hosur. When he finally entered the British out-post in Hosur, he went in and requested the British officers to offer him some land. Hearing his sad story they gave him a piece of land beyond Hosur.
But Tigy still loved Vallayoor and requested the British registrar to name the area by the name of his village. But the British did not understand the meaning of Vallayoor… so Tigy explained:
“Sir Valla means Bangle…Oor means village…”
“Then you keep it Bangleoor…” the British dismissed further appeals and that’s how it became Bangalore!!!
Tigy never raped or even touch another woman in his lifetime and people worshipped him like a saint.
Miss. Berlin Monroe never left Vallayoor. She lived and died there in fond memories of her only lover-Tigy Kunju Mathai who had gifted her a handsome son. To her delight and the villagers relief, Junior Tigy did not show any trace of rape -ing tendencies. He grew up to smart and handsome boy who went far away from the village to learn the craft of machine making.
Still somewhere in Southern Malabar….Tigy and Berlin live through folklores. There is no more gender inequality in Vallayoor.
The saying goes that it took Berlin Monroe’s capitalism to subdue Tigy Kunju Mathai’s fascism.
The Author of this blog is Srinath Krishnamoorthy who like millions out there is trying to figure out what needs to be done with life. After bidding good bye to an eventful software career that spanned just 3 small years, he right now breaking his head working on his MTech thesis. It also comes as a surprise that in his lunatic quest for “figuring out life” he ended up writing a novel “Hope We Never Meet Again” which will be coming out soon…how soon only god knows!!!